Ye Gods!
"Ye Gods! - Music forged in gargantuan pits of fire and brimstone, deep in the belly of the earth; it will tantalize anyone who likes to laugh until they feel sick, provided they are not scared by loud noises."
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Ye Gods CD Review - Les Banditos Avec Les Mullet

"I Loves you, I f@#"s you, I buys the chips"

What we have here is something a little different from the CD's that we usually get to review. This is a CD you would buy from the band after a stonking live show. It is not well recorded or over engineered, it is a live recording of a band that must be brilliant fun at a gig. Most of the songs are written by the band, with a couple of Queen classics thrown in.

The tracks are in 'set list' order, with the instrumental build up to a high energy rock show. Despite the poor recording quality, you can tell that Ye Gods know what they are doing. Some nice guitar work and the kind of lyrical humour that takes them well above the level of the normal pub rock band. A Bristol Tenacious D? Although would tenacious D have the wit to add the Dr Who theme to their set..... who knows?

We must get to see Ye Gods live for a Bristol Rocks Bootleg!
Boys, you have to get this album recorded in a studio, if you can capture the same energy with a quality punchy studio album you will sell them by the bucket load.

Review by Hellvin - Bristol Rocks

CD

many thanks for the cd.great stuff.i can see that your music was inspired by TCHAIKOVSKY.no not the great composer but LEON TCHAIKOVSKY that works down at ALDI part time.you know the one the guy with the barbi tee shirt and the the yellow jeans and sandels and a hearing aid.lol.loved it.loved it.loved it.i will play it often at home locked in the toilet and on the radio station many times.the station is closed this week as we have all been put in a padded cell till we are safe to go on air again and are no danger to the public.but i wiill play it on my friday morning show and my everyother monday show and on the saturday paranormal show to un-nerve the outside broardcast team before they go out to a haunted site.did i detect a hint of tele tubbies in dawn said.my fav track is YE GODS.its so nice to hear a band as good as you are having a great time.lovely bass line holding things together as well.was having a bad day today,heart and arthritis hell.but your cd has cheered this old git of a blues man up no end.all the best to you all and keep me up to date.

From Spyder

Oh Ye Vile Blasphemers.....

Thou darest call thyselves Gods?!!!
Well, try this and prove it.
Canst thou turn Wine into Water?..........I can.
Canst thou makest Darkend Vile Odorous Brown Heaps from thy very living Bowels, and verily make it so none may touch them??
Hast any one of ye ever been nailed to yon burning door?
And lived?
Hast though exceeded the divine Holy Speed Limit whilst passing a police vehicle on the left?
And then were though brave enough to fling Given Ticket with a fierce hand and crushed it into the dirt?
Hast thou Vomited Heartily with joy in your heart up someone else’s coat sleeve on the late night bus back from The Dead City of Cleckhuddersfax, in the Valley of Why?
Challenged old people that it is NOT their divine right to push in at the checkout queue?
Released all last vestiges of the trapped gas from a cripple’s wheelchair?
All these things and more have I completed in my past life as a MEMBER of a certain Secret Society known only to a few million world wide.
What?
What? You have?
Oh alright then, you can be my “friends”.
But don’t abuse the privilege and ask me questions about... HIM.
He who bears the mark of the Wicked Wart of WICKENBACKER. Or he shall smite us all verily with trick questions about WWII.

NOW GO!!! And do your “THING”. We shall not speak again I fear until “THE DOING HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH”.
And now rest, for yes, we do rest, oh yes, we do. We rest and we rest on nice comfy mattresses with only a few piss stains (they’ll come out in the wash) from previous owners. I go... phttufff! See? Gone.

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Mighty Philthy, Dark Banshee of the Night

Indeed, we do thusly call ourselves Gods with brazen recklessness. Verily may we be punished by those deemed mighty enough to pass such judgment.

Wine into Water? We canst, although ‘tis the yellow, unpleasantly odorous water of piss.

Brown Heaps? Indeedly, with the aid of Bass Ale the foul, brown porridge flows freely.

Yon burning door? A test we have yet to pass... we are not as mighty as thee... yet!

Police? We answer only to the police of Rock Justice. Should ever we produce a tune that we wouldn’t be prepared to take into the belly of hell and play to the horned master without fear of death, then lo, let us be punished...

Cleckhudderfax? A place yet to be visited. Although we understand Hull is similarly so.

Old people? They run in fear of my beard. Let them be scared!

As for the evil warted master of bass madness, no questions shall be asked. None. Ever. And so it shall be!

You’re faithful servant, Icecry

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Thy reply pleases me. So be it.
Thou shall now be called “FRIENDS” of Philthy.
Verily telleth me where canst this strange “Brown Porridge” be found? This intrigues me. Speak me I say on this Brown Subject. For, the only “ODEROUS” I HAVE KNOWN IN MY THOUSANDS OF YEARS AS A PRO DEITY was a slimy little Demi-God who called himself “Mr. Rogers” and would magically appear upon a magic box called a “smellyvision set”. (Hath thou heard of such vile trickery upon thy plain?) WEARING A STRANGE PIECE OF BODY COVERING CALLED A “CARDIGAN” yet beneath the waist (I am told) out of sight he wore clothing only of which women should be adorned. This baffles me greatly. Why would a person be so strange and “ODEROUS” yet be loved and adored by children and parents alike? You live in a strange World indeed. I was greatly pleased when I heard from my spies “below the WORLD” that he had recently entered that domain and will be boned up the arse for eternity by JOHN HOLMES and all comers with arse splitting dimensions. This pleases me.!!!
Cheers Philthy.

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Ah, the brown porridge, a subject frequently asked about; Let it be said:

The Brown Porridge is an entity of extreme pleasure, but at the same time pain; a two horned demon, a double cream walnut whip of split persona.

If one consumes vast quantities of the fabled Bass Ale and then a Chicken Madras, some poperdoms and a pint or two of Kingfisher, then after one’s belly has had a night of sleep to contemplate, digest and yay verily and nay ‘process’ said mixture, one’s ass will undoubtedly produce the said Brown Porridge. And it will be joyous. Much fun can be had. One may even feel compelled to find ones friends, and show them what has fallen out of ones ass. Ah, yes, the pleasure at watching the looks of horror spread over their faces as the smell hits them, and yet they are compelled to also look and see what smells so bad.

But be warned. With this joy also comes untold evil. For, though the Porridge of one’s own ass may bring untold joy to the bearer, the porridge of another beings ass has the opposite effect. The Brown Porridge of others brings pain, humiliation and vomiting.

So treat the Brown Porridge with respect, and be weary of it; ‘tis an untamed beast!

Overlord Icecry

YE-GODS! Bands Debut Album

Portishead band Ye Gods! have been locked away for the past three months recording their debut album and rehearsing new material in a Bristol studio. The new album, Le Banditos Avec Les Mullet, is being released on Saturday. The release gig is at the Full Moon on Stokes Croft in Bristol where Ye Gods! are supporting Bristol band The Sex Gods From Planet Metal. Bassist Cherrance Metal, aged 25 from Portishead, said: "The album has been forged in pits of fire and brimstone - it rocks in ways that aren't easily described. We are all very excited." Drummer Topher Icecry, 33 of Portishead, persuaded fellow Airbus member James Childs, 33 of Portishead, to mix the album in his Los Angeles studio. James said: "It was nice to be able to work with Topher again, and on a project that's not too serious. I think this offering will keep fans happy." When asked what Ye Gods! have planned for the near future, guitarist Stratt Williams, 33 of Bristol, said: "In the new year we plan to make some videos for songs and try and get them on the TV." Entry to the gig is £4, and doors open at 8pm. For further information check out www.ye-gods.co.uk.

Review by Sacred Rich

YE-GODS! Sunday April 24th 2005

This was my first exposure to the mulleted, toga wearing rock band and, unlike other virginities I have lost, this one was far from disappointing. The guys, Stratt Williams, Cherrance Metal and brothers Dave Against the Machine and Topher Icecry, are a truly talented bunch of individuals, but together they are greater than the sum of their parts and combine to produce some truly life altering ROCK that would make the most hardened metalhead cry tears of blood before spontaneously combusting.

Having only GCSE English I will endeavor to describe my experience if only to offer a small window into this tsunami of a rock machine.

The boys came on to a very expectant and welcoming Sunday evening crowd, which wasn’t quite packed to its full 48 capacity strength, and immediately got the punters support by opening with the theme to Ulysses, the old late 80’s space based cartoon. An amazing rendition, it has to be said, and each following track seemed to make you feel a little bit better (and crazed) than the last, a feat that even signed, proven artists have trouble attaining.

A new number, a cover of the 80’s tune ‘Video Killed The Radio Star’, but obviously rocked up like only these men of metal can, was……almost indescribable in its brilliance. Cherrance Metal vocally was hitting notes that only Dame Kiri Tikanawa and dog whistles can achieve (which he later confessed was due to being aided by over tight underwear, impressive nonetheless and what commitment from the baby of the bunch) all the while torturing the bass guitar with his playing prowess.

Stratt Williams was poetry in motion as he bludgeoned his axe, whilst going through various different guitar god rock type stances - no easy thing in a toga - all the while mullet flailing around like a cat with its arse on fire! This guy was so good that even the legendary machinery designed to take this god sent heathen music, a Mighty Marshall amp, blew itself a fuse so it could take 5 minutes rest.

Topher Icecry, the mythical beast behind the drum kit, was sublime, drilling beats into your soul until your heart rhythm changes forever. I am scared of this animal!

Dave Against the Machine is the one to watch though. He lulls you into a false sense of security as he is happily mashing his guitar to whichever song has been lucky enough to have either been dragged kicking and screaming and reworked into a rock masterpiece, or one of their own self penned future classics. You think to yourself that Dave looks like the one you would speak to if you absolutely had to but then - BOOM! He suddenly explodes with a head bang, guitar stance, power chord, backing vocal combo which makes you swallow your tongue and dislocates your knees. Dave you are a deceiving bastard!

There were too many exceptional songs played by this band, but special mentions have to be said about the Doctor Who theme and War Pigs. Both tracks were awesome to the point of losing bowel control and Le Banditos Avec Les Mullets (excuse any spelling mistakes!) is a peach of a number and possibly a future Song for Europe candidate.

YE-GODS! Seem to drag you by the lips, bombard your senses with L.S.D. type effects and leave you wondering who the hell you are. Musically they inject ROCK into your very core where it immediately starts a fight with the conformist neutral genes turning you into a passion filled rocker just looking for an excuse to abuse pints of blackthorn and play AC/DC ‘til your eardrums rupture and brain fluid trickles from your nose!

These guys do not deserve to be called a band, they are much, much more than a band; they are ‘A Reason’. If God created ROCK and someone said ‘What the hell were you thinking when you created that?’, ‘YE-GODS!’ would be the answer. Yes they are a reason and deserve a place as a dictionary definition.

I am not ashamed to admit that listening to YE-GODS! aroused me and that is a difficult thing to do without the aid of scantily clad Scandinavian ladies!!!

COME WORSHIP AT THE CHAPEL OF ROCK AND LET YE-GODS! LEAD THE WAY!

Review by The Jase of Spades!

‘MILK APLENTY’ (or ‘MANNA FROM HEAVEN')

Ye Gods - The Fleece, Bristol, Friday 11th March 2005

This, Ye Gods!’ debut appearance outside of the sleepy hamlet of Portishead, was a step into the unknown. How would a knowledgeable, urban audience receive a band who play, with their collective sandaled foot to the pedal, music ranging from abrasive Beastie Boys through Aldi’s wine catalogue to a Doctor Who’s netherworld? How would a large Friday night Bristolian crowd take to such unusual and unrelenting music being performed by four crusaders who go by the names of Cherrance Metal, Topher Icecry, Strat Williams and Dave Against The Machine, whilst wearing Greek togas and dodgy mullets? To friends, family and the faint-hearted, the excitement of seeing Ye Gods! perform with the world-renowned John Otway was, perhaps understandably, tempered with knowledge of the above.

A large crowd greeted Ye Gods! as they took to the Fleece stage resplendent in their crisp-white, gold-trimmed neo-ancient togas, and kicked off with no-nonsense renditions of Ulysses and Now I’m Here. This was followed by the original and rather raw anthem Le Banditos Avec Les Mullét and the comedic self-penned masterpiece Baron Saint John £2.39 From Aldi, both of which offered an insight to the band’s unique song writing potential. As Ye Gods! warmed up, so did the unwitting but not unwilling audience. Judging by their developing smiles and their enthusiastic applause, they were beginning to appreciate that taking this band too seriously was seriously missing the point. As a result, an imaginative reworking of Doctor Who and a dirty, growling version of Breaking The Law were delivered with energy and gusto and received with growing enthusiasm. A high-octane and rather fluid cover of Beastie Boy’s Fight For Your Right was particularly “pleasing to the ear” as one audience member exclaimed through her strangled sobs.

The last song of the set was to see Ye Gods! move a step closer to the level their name suggests. They took on a medley of Queen’s magnificently overblown and unwieldy Flash, wrestled with the ageing superpower and won. It was during this song that the audience got a glimpse of the potential of this band; musicianship allied to theatricality, as the four potent elements reacted as one. They swooped, swooned, danced, posed and crashed their way through this opus, leaving the audience wanting more of their collective, quasi-mythical force before laying down their instruments of power and floating off stage. Inspired. As the smoke dispersed from their explosive set, it became clear to all those who bore witness that something wonderful had been created. Tonight, Ye Gods! began to live up to their name. Bring on the coliseums.

By Rich Hawkwind

Ye Gods! a short History

The saying “Yie Gods” later translated to “Ye Gods” was first used 2000 years before the Greek empire. This was first used in the ancient alcohol induced fire lighting ritual which enabled music to come forth from the flickering flames.

Malpractice of this ritual most recently in the 20th and 21st century has resulted in total shit such as Rick Ashley, this foul sounding fiend was a product of sober medalling infidels.

However much god like sounds have evolved from these early rituals.
Metal as we know it was an off shoot of these early rituals with the occasional sacrifice still being carried out by a lesser god….. Ozzy Osbourne.
AC/DC still have a name linking them to the electrical storms that were sometimes called upon for the pyre lighting experience.

And so from our ancestors first drunken muttering way back before Greek times, we find ourselves once again uttering on alcohol fuelled breath “YE GODS!”.

By Stoner The Baby Faced Assasin

Review of gig @ PFC 2004

Last Saturday music described as being ‘not for the faint hearted’ was bestowed upon an audience at Portishead Football Club by new local band Ye Gods! whose members hail from Portishead and Bristol.

There was an air of excitement as I walked into the smokiest room I have ever encountered just in time to see four men dressed in togas, mullet wigs and laurel wreaths walk on to the stage. They then discovered the soundman had nipped out to the chip shop, said “thank you and goodnight” and walked off stage to much laughing and cries of “more” from the crowd. After this Spinal Tap moment it quickly became apparent that this band don’t believe in taking things too seriously.

About ten minutes later the soundman returned and Ye Gods! took the stage once more. I have never laughed so much in my life. The band play rock covers ranging from Queen to Judas Priest and a few original numbers of which ‘Baron Saint Jean £2.39 from Aldi’ seemed to please the crowd greatly. My other favourites were a version of the theme tune from Doctor Who done in the style of Iron Maiden and ‘B Boys Makin With The Freak Freak’, a rap song by the Beastie Boys that can only be described as ‘special’.

The bands style is loud, heavy and raw. The covers are done in a unique manner, not perfectly, but with much gusto and oodles of humour which made the crowd warm to them quickly. After finishing with a version of ‘Play That Funky Music White Boy’ that made me want to cry, the band left a very happy audience to watch the main act, Ironically Maiden. I should just mention that Ironically Maiden are possibly the most accurate cover band I have ever witnessed. They sound exactly like the real thing. Based ‘up North’ they don’t come down this end of the country often, but if they do I would thoroughly recommend checking them out.

As Ironically Maiden took the stage I managed to grab a few words with Ye Gods! as they replaced togas with jeans and T-shirts. According to guitarist Strat Williams, 31 from Bristol, the name Ye Gods! was inspired by the late great Peter Cook. “I saw an interview with Peter Cook not long before he died saying he would be forming a band in 2004 called Ye Gods! As he wasn’t around to do it we thought we’d do it for him.”

Guitarist Dave Against The Machine, 29 from Portishead, said of the performance; “It was fun, but me and Strat were knackered before we started. When we got to sound check I locked my keys in the car. It took us over an hour to get the rhythm section out.”

Ye Gods! will be playing at Portishead Football Club on 18th December. If you are not easily scared by loud music and like to laugh make sure you get there. For more information check out www.Ye-Gods.com.

By Rockin' Rob Rowles

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